UNF's first Underwear dash

Awesome + 50 synonyms of awesome= the experience

poliluqoy

i love mangos

if youur vagina tasted like mangos i would never stop eating
i could eat mangos for days

MANGOS

mangos are mangos too

there is mangos

then there is

strawberriy bananaa smoothie

i love banananananas and strawberries together

so good

its like a strawnana

or banaberry

fused fruit rules

a fusion of fruity fun inside a fruitopia of fruity fantasticness

FRUIT drives my soul

RAWR

i wish i was in an empty room

and people threw mangonades at me

The left-handed wonder?

Am I about to join the ranks of some of the greatest left-handed guitarist of all time? Jimi Hendrix, Paul McCartney, Tommy Iommi, Dick Dale, Bobby Womack, Zacky Vengeance, Kurt Cobain, Al McKay?

It is on my friend it is on.

They tried to turn me righty, but i like to think outside the box.

random shit

dradle dradle dradle , super polio sold on eBay, chocolate rain heroin so you don't get the headaches Tylenol i would hit that with a stick

you will be strawberries bitch he has no friends hes British

Existential? no. NFL rigged? YES!

I definitely believe the NFL is rigged. You want proof? I don't have that but I do have some sources that provide a good argument, my BRAIN. I'm going to start with the 2000-2001 season since that is the freshest in my mind, although I can back farther, although I choose not to. Also before I start, just to let you know, I am an Arizona Cardinals fan, so I am not bitter at all, I'm used to losing all the time. Race is also not a factor, I just enjoy playing the race card, cause it is fun.

I'm going to start with the patriot act theory. This does not mean the patriot act that you're thinking of, but it does involve patriots, The New England Patriots to be precise. Back in 2001, America experienced a terrible day, September 11th bombings, airplane crashing into buildings, whatever you call it. Although I believe the government planned these attacks themselves, but that is another story for another day. Anyways, it was a big deal at the time, so much as football was canceled for a week, I know right, how can the cancel my precious? Continuing on, the whole sept 11th ordeal was ran through the NFL. ESPN made a big whoop about how Joe Andruzzi's brother was a firefighter risking his life to help people in these buildings, I get it "hero." They also mentioned that wouldn't it be great if the Joe Andruzzi was able to win a super bowl with the patriots, mind you, he is an offensive linemen. During that season, the Patriots go on this amazing run, and i do mean amazing.

At this time, i would like to insert tuck rule, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tuck_Rule_Game
a totally bogus call, see video for back up evidence. The end result is that, the Patriots make it to the superbowl, and in the final minutes, they win it all. Some notable guests at this 2002 superbowl were former U.S. presidents Carter, Ford, Reagan, Clinton and Both Bush's, coincidence? mmm i think not. I mean talk about patriotic in its highest form; former U.S. Presidents, along with the Patriots winning the superbowl, the highest televised program that year, a country united. All I'm saying is, there is room for conspiracy.

This next section, I will call the Soap-Opera era.

Skipping ahead to the off-season, Jon Gruden is traded to the Oakland Raiders for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. When do you ever hear of a coach being traded? In any sport? NAME ONE! This happens after Tony Dungy is fired from the Bucs, A BLACK MAN, might I add (there is a joke for the black man thing, eh just watch the video.)



Continuing on, Jon Gruden Mr. blonde hair, blue eyes himself, "inherits" Tony Dungy's great football team, benches Shaun King since he is an underachiever or because god forbid we have a black QB lead us to the promise land, brings in Brad Johnson as part of the retooling effort, and off to the Superbowl, but first we must beat down the Donovan Mcnabb led Philadelphia Eagles( a legacy in shafting in itself). So keeping the black man down another year, the Bucs are in the Super bowl, against the Oakland Raiders no doubt. How fitting, you play your former team that traded you, you already know the ins and outs of your former team and did I mention this also great for the media and fans of the NFL. I mean who doesn't love a good drama, a former coach traded... Seeks the ultimate revenge by defeating former team on America's biggest stage. You can conclude that the coaching trade was the biggest story in the NFL during the year and in my eyes, it was important to keep that storyline going, because you could profit the most from it. O yea the Bucs won.

Continuing on in the Soap Opera years, the panthers meet the patriots in the following superbowl. The big story here was the fact that the panthers went from 1-15 the previous year, to make it all the way to the superbowl. They were led Jake Delhomme, who was a backup, a no name, a NFL europer (that is a word). An old story, of a no name's rise to fame (cinderfella if your wil), perfect for the media, and easily sucks in the fans, including me. Did I mention that Mr. Delhomme unseated Rodney Peete, another black quarterback, coincidence? I think not. Of course to get to the superbowl, the Panthers had to beat the Eagles. Of course, down goes Mcnabb again.

The Patriots had a different road, they beat down Tony Dungy's colts. These Colts are led by their Quarterback Peyton Manning, keep this name in your mind; I will refer back to this Peyton Manning. So let us continue on to the superbowl.

The weeks leading up to the superbowl, was filled with wonderful stories. How two former Carolina Panthers had Cancer, so sad, but how come we didn't hear about this during the season? Because they save the good stories for later. I believe ESPN and the NFL are in cahoots, or is it that ABC that owns ESPN, whatever. For the Patriots, its a bounce back story or as I would like to say, Bush defeated Afghanistan way too easily and it seems "people are going to become suspicious of my intentions, let me make a call and get these people to become Patriotic once again." Thus the Patriots win the superbowl again, people are less suspicious about the Presidents occupation in the Middle East, and definitely are feeling more Patriotic. Did i mention that 2004 was an election year? Yea Patriotism, meaning Patriots win. Enough said. OK really how often do kicker's shank a kickoff during the superbowl? Name one superbowl, it has never happened, ever. Well at least not on accident. O look an interview with our favorite President. SENOR BUSH




On to the 2004-2005 NFL season. The beginning of the Terrell Owens saga in this Soap Opera i call the NFL. I'm not going to go into details but, Terrell Owens is great for marketing the NFL, so we must keep him in the limelight as much as possible, with that being said, ALOT of stories revolved around him. Here have some fun.

""Although Owens was eager to leave the 49ers, the 49ers asserted that Owens' previous agent, David Joseph, had missed the deadline to void the final years of his contract with the 49ers. Owens and Joseph disputed this assertion, contending that the deadline referred to by the 49ers was not the applicable deadline. On March 4, 2004, San Francisco, believing it still held Owens' rights, attempted to trade Owens to the Baltimore Ravens for a second round pick in the 2004 draft. However, Owens challenged the 49ers' right to make the deal. Owens assumed that he would become a free agent on March 3, and did not believe that the earlier deadline was applicable. So he negotiated with other teams in advance of his expected free agency, and reached a contract agreement with the Philadelphia Eagles, whose fan base strongly supported Owens in his desire to play for the team. The NFL Players Union filed a grievance on his behalf.

Before an arbitrator could make a ruling on Owens' grievance, the NFL and the three teams involved in the controversy reached a settlement on March 16, 2004. The Ravens got their second-round pick back from the Niners, and the Niners in turn received a conditional fifth-round pick and defensive end Brandon Whiting from the Eagles in exchange for the rights to Owens. Owens' contract with the Eagles was reported to be worth $49 million for seven years, including a $10 million signing bonus.

The 2004 season got off to a great start for the Eagles, who won each of their first seven and 13 of their first 14 games; as well as for Owens, who averaged a touchdown catch per game before his injury. Owens gained a tremendous amount of popularity throughout the league, especially among the Eagles fan base. On December 19, 2004, Owens sustained a severely sprained ankle and a fractured fibula when Dallas Cowboys safety Roy Williams committed a horse-collar tackle against him, before the technique was made illegal. Owens' injury was one of the major reasons that the horse-collar tackle was prohibited.

With the Eagles heading to Super Bowl XXXIX, Owens shocked the media by announcing he would play no matter what, even though team doctors stated that his injury would take several more weeks to heal. Skeptics were silenced when Owens started the game and played well; the result was 9 receptions and 122 yards, though the Eagles still lost to the New England Patriots. After the game, Owens criticized the media by saying that a player like Brett Favre would have been praised for such bravery.""

Continuing on, Mcnabb finally gets "help" and makes it to the superbowl in 2004. The game before the superbowl featured a highly hyped match up of Vick vs Mcnabb, two black qbs featured against each other, the Romans would be proud, but I digress, Mcnabb was victorious. The Patriots once again, defeat the Colts, saving Manning's hump for later. 2005 superbowl, the one superbowl I was most excited for. But what happens? The American public starts becoming suspicious of the war, they are becoming less patriotic, what happened the flags hanging outside the windows? What happen to the sticker flags on the cars? We need patriotism, and what better way to scream Patriotism than to have the white man dominate the black man, again, at the highest stage in America. Patriots win the superbowl again. The media makes it a point to call the Patriots a dynasty, i think of it more as the Patriotic dynasty or Bush dynasty for short.

By now you must be getting the picture, perhaps my point? If not, there is more ranting ahead.
the 2005-2006 was supposed to be the year of the colts, the year manning finally got over the hump, but someone forgot to read the script. I find this season, the year where you can rig all you want but some people just fuck it up for everyone I mean you Vanderjagt.

I refer to the Steelers vs Colts in the AFC playoffs circa 2006

""The Wild Card Steelers were facing the Colts as heavy underdogs after defeating the AFC North Champion Cincinnati Bengals. Surprisingly, the Steelers managed to dictate the flow of most of the game and dominated throughout the first half. After an erroneous overturn of a key interception by Steelers Safety Troy Polamalu (the NFL later apologized for referee Pete Morelli's mistake^[51]), the Colts had another chance to come from behind. The Steelers continued to limit the Colts comeback and sacked Peyton Manning on the Colts' two yard line, turning the ball over on downs. It was 21-18 Steelers and appeared to be over with just two minutes left in the game. The Steelers could not fully run out the clock as the Colts had timeouts remaining, but they had the ball in the red zone with intent to run for a touchdown and seal the game. On the first snap, Jerome Bettis was handed the ball and headed for the endzone, but Gary Brackett got his helmet on the ball, which knocked the ball out for a fumble. Indianapolis Cornerback Nick Harper recovered the football and took off quickly down the field. With his speed it looked as if Indianapolis would score a touchdown to go ahead with little time left in the game, but the last Steeler defender, the quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger made a shoestring tackle to stop the run. Even though a heart-breaking score had been prevented, the Colts still had the ball. Peyton Manning drove thirty yards down the field and set up a 46 yard field goal attempt by kicker Mike Vanderjagt. Vanderjagt missed the field goal significantly wide right with 17 seconds left, this time finally sealing the Steelers upset victory. This series of plays would come to epitomize the entire 2005 Steelers' season, as they would eventually go on to win Super Bowl XL. ""

Now with the Steelers making the super bowl, the NFL was in a bind, but not completely bound up. With their golden boy out of the picture the NFL had to find a new person to market their product. They decide to use Ben Rothelisberger ( his name needs not to be spelled right). Along with Ben is the wearetheonlywildcardteamtomakeittothesuperbowlwithoutplayingahomegameintehplayoffs routine. I mean who doesn't like witnessing "history." At this point in time, I would like to offer my condolences to any and ALL seahawk fans. You peeps got the shaft in that superbowl, it was like the NFL wanted the Steelers to win. GASP!!!!

On a side note, Bill Cowher was very marketable at this time as well. Coach of the Steelers he was. The Steelers won the superbowl by the way.

After this small blunder, it seemed only right that the Colts make it to the superbowl the following season. And of course it happens. Archie Manning was a shitty quarterback who played for a shitty team, he met some chick and they had a few children two of which are in the NFL. Peyton and Eli Manning. Time for some kick ass marketing and even better soap opera material. Peyton, the highly touted quarterback coming out of Tennessee University, was going to be a great NFL quarterback, how do you cement greatness? Win the big one. After several post-season years ending with the patriots defeating the colts, it was time for Peyton to finally get over the hump, which by this time was a mountain. In the 2007 playoffs, Peyton finally found the right equipment to get overcome the Patriots, doing so in the most what-the-fuck-ever way imaginable.

Let's recap this game;

""The Colts played the New England Patriots at home in the AFC title game for the rights to the Super Bowl; it was the Colts' third conference championship game in the Indianapolis era. The game marked the first time that the AFC title game was played in a domed stadium. After trailing at one point 21-3, the Colts stormed back, defeating the arch-rival Patriots for the third consecutive time. With a final score of 38-34, the 18-point comeback was the largest ever in an NFL conference championship game, and tied the record for the fourth largest NFL post season comeback.""

Another amazing story for the fans. This game was chalked up with the most wtf penalties and no calls, I have seen in a nationally televised NFL game. See video evidence. I love the term evidence by the way.

I never thought I would say this, But the Bush Dynasty was actually shafted, or were they? By now, most Americans agreed that the war, which by now is the Iraq war, I guess Afghanistan was too easy, anyways Americans thought/knew the war was Bullshit BULLSHIT B U L L S H I T. So the Patriot trick wasn't going to work, and wasn't needed. Although, by now, the Patriots were a decent team. Onto the super bowl go the Colts.

Meanwhile, in the NFC, there was indeed a larger story, which I can't believe wasn't pushed, ok i lied, it was. The New Orleans ordeal. Hurricane Katrina was a big deal in the NFL, and the Saints had the most amazing stories in ages. First the Hurricane in 2005, which effectively damaged the superdome enough to where the Saints didn't have a home game. But in 2006-2007 it allowed for the fans, and a nation to rally behind them, because i just lost my home but the Saints winning the super bowl would make it worth it. Really? Really? Really? If all that people have in the world is Football, then I suggest they should....ehh it's not the time. In the draft the saints miraculously receive Reggie Bush, gift wrapped if you will. Also, the release of their starting quarterback Aaron Brooks, another black man might I add, a nice growing trend if you ask me. They soon pick up Drew Brees, a man with supposedly damaged goods, makes for another good injury/comeback story. O did I mention he was white? I guess race is an issue but not really.

The superdome was sold out that season with fans rallying behind the saints like it was the only thing they had left in their pitiful, hurricane-wrecking lives. The miracle season began, and ended because of a better story. The Black coach in the superbowl thing, the black head coaches cannot lead their teams to Super Bowl glory thing or the bears would be easier for the colts to beat in the superbowl thing. Lets get the great white hope his trophy story, I guess the NFL felt that the Colts vs Bears would be a better matchup, but the ratings proved wrong. But Peyton got his trophy and that is all that matters.

Onto the most recent season, a season fresh in your mind. Picture this as a future headline, "Brother follows in footsteps of older brother," yea let it sink in because that my friends is the future. From week one of the 2007-2008 season the Patriots were the moneymaker, the bread and butter of the NFL soap opera. The Cheaters storyline was wonderful for the NFL, tainting the NFL, NOT A CHANCE. Having the Patriots go undefeated through the regular season and much of the playoffs, perfect for the ratings, perfect for money, perfect story. And what better way to end the chapter than with having Eli Manning following in his brother's footsteps and defeating the Patriots in the superbowl. Back to back brothers, nothing better than that in America's eyes. It is amazing how much money came out of this season alone, the NFL must be an advertiser's dream.

You may disagree with me, but I smell a fix. The NFL is a product, and it must be sold. And to sell your product, you have to advertise, you have to market, and you have employees that will bring you profit, and the ability to keep your customers wanting more. The NFL has all of these, and I think NFL does whatever it feels necessary to sell their product, even if they have to fix things. I say for the most part, the players in the NFL are real, the plays are real, but the outcomes, ehh subject to what the bosses are feeling that week. It is especially a sad day when i have to say that Madden 2008 nfl football has a more realistic outcome than the NFL itself.

Calling Dr loveeeeeeeee

You need my love baby, oh so bad
You're not the only one I've ever had
And if I say I wanna set you free
Don't you know you'll be in misery

They call me (Dr. Love)
They call me Dr. Love (calling Dr. Love)
I've got the cure you're thinkin' of (calling Dr. Love)

And even though I'm full of sin
In the end you'll let me in
You'll let me through, there's nothin' you can do
You need my lovin', don't you know it's true

So if you please get on your knees
There are no bills, there are no fees
Baby, I know what your problem is
The first step of the cure is a kiss

So call me (Dr. Love)
They call me Dr. Love (calling Dr. Love)
I am your doctor of love (calling Dr. Love), ha
They call me (Dr. Love), they call me Dr. Love
(Calling Dr. Love)
I've got the cure you're thinkin' of (calling Dr. Love)

Ooh, they call me (Dr. Love)
I am the doctor of love (calling Dr. Love)
I've got the cure you're thinkin' of (calling Dr. Love)
Ooh, they Call me (Dr. Love)
I am your doctor of love (calling Dr. Love)
I've got the cure you're thinking of
(Calling Dr. Love), yeah
Yeah, they call me (Dr. Love)
They call me Dr. Love (calling Dr. Love)
I've got the cure you're thinkin' of (calling Dr. Love)
Love, love, love, (Dr. Love)
Love, love, love, love, (calling Dr. Love) love Dr. Love
(Calling Dr. Love)
I've got the cure you're thinkin' (Dr. Love)
I've got the cure you're thinkin' (calling Dr. Love)
I've got the cure you're thinkin' of (calling Dr. Love)
They call me Dr. Love (Dr. Love)
They call me Dr. Love (calling Dr. Love)
I've got the cure

Why

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
Relax, Recap, Start over...again